Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Alyssa Brooks "Hide and Seek"

Borders had a big sale recently and lured by the okay cover and cheap price tag, I picked up Hide and Seek. I was pretty sure this one was more on the erotica side than romance but a little exploration never hurt anyone. Well, that's patently untrue, but how was I to know.

This book isn't porn for women. It's just porn. The thinnest of plot lines revolves around 'smart' Elisa being followed by her college chemistry partner, Maxim Cox, to a remote cabin in the mountains. He can't understand why he's never forgotten her and she is quite certain he's a man slut who could never stick with one woman. So to teach him a lesson she decides to only have sex with him if he follows the rules of a game she makes up as she goes.

The game wasn't interesting, the characters were stupid (she's a successful lawyer until a scandal breaks and she's given some 'time off.' She decides she should join the Peace Corp to save the rain forests.) Aspen, CO, isn't even described well enough to be enjoyed. And to top it off, I think if I hadn't skimmed so much of the book I would have detected a sneakingly anti-feminist undertone. Her 'games' all revolve around sexual dominance of Maxim. But she's only truly satisfied when he takes over.

In the final scene he proposes marriage by letting it slip that he'll be disinherited if he doesn't marry in two weeks. When Elisa finds his protestations of love hard to believe, he throws her over his shoulder, fights her clothes off of her and ties her up with his belt while she's yelling "I'm not playing Maxim, get off me." She, of course, is turned on be being tied up, something Maxim knew would be true (more evidence that they are meant for each other, he's so tuned into her secret desires!). Finally he convinces her that they are perfect together by pointing out that he could have bought her a bigger ring but he bought a small diamond and donated the money to the Peace Corps in her name. And as recompense for not allowing her to save the rain forests, he gives her a foundation to help poor kids in Egypt (where his family business is). Once she understands how sweet he really is, she decides she can teach Egyptian kids ABOUT saving the rain forests.

Sorry for the spoilers, because really I've recounted pretty much the entire plot here. But if you're gonna read this book, it's not going to be for the character development and plot line. Now as far as porn goes, I've seen worse.

Porn 2007: 0 of 5 naked in the snow scenes.


Kate said...

Weak. Actually I was lost at the bit where he follows her to a cabin. Hello, stalker?

Anonymous said...

"So to teach him a lesson she decides to only have sex with him if he follows the rules of a game she makes up as she goes."

This is one of my top ten lies of the romance novel heroine! Thanks for providing another example of their occasional extreme stupidity.

Carolyn Crane said...

Oh, how hilarious! Game not interesting, characters stupid. Well, I guess you just never know.

Heloise said...

These books are actually why I started blogging. They are so fun to make fun of and if I can save someone else's time and money, all the better. :)