Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Cheryl Holt 'Secret Fantasy'

My Secret Fantasy is to never read a book this bad again. Margaret is the sweet orphaned heroine who lives with her evil Aunt and her horrid daughter. "Margaret had spent her entire life caught between them as they fought like cats trapped in a sack." I wasn't surprised to find Margaret sneaking out of the estate house to teach the local children in an abandoned crofters hut, but I guess I was surprised when our hero allows the evil Aunt to fondle his privates in her boudoir while Margaret spies through the keyhole. That should have been my first clue.

I can't even decide which disgusting, ridiculous plot twist to complain about next. Evil Aunt has, of course, stolen Margaret's trust fund for her horrid daughter. Meanwhile our hero gets caught in bed with Margaret but decides he still needs to marry Margaret's horrid cousin because of her supposed (stolen) fortune. But fate steps in, in the form of the hero's father, who (I kid you not) rapes the horrid cousin before the hero can get her to the altar. But the horrid cousin doesn't really mind the rape cause she has always wanted to be a Countess.

Later when Margaret finds out that she is not poor, but an heiress, she is reluctant to make up with the hero after his betrayal, but a month in a big mansion with no one to talk to takes care of that. She searches him out and asks him to marry her and help her spend her money. Oh, my aching head! This book so calls for the bat shit picture. Even skimming most of it was painful beyond words.

Historical Romance 2007: 0 out of 5 popped cherries.


Anonymous said...

Hey, why does the photo of bat guano include a quarter? Presumably it's to show the size of the bag, but when purchasing bat guano, are there really concerns over the bag's size? Can't they just give the quantity in ounces like most other products?

Heloise said...

Well, you know this pure bat guano comes from Texas. Do I need to say more?

(Oh, I'm gonna get it for that one..)