Unchained by Caris Roane

I am so shallow.  Sucked in not once, but twice by a delicious cover and I have to admit, a cool author name.  I didn't realize before that I ever even pay attention to author names but the interesting font and strange emphasis on the "i" in Caris's first name definitely caught my attention.  (Yes I am boring you with talk of font, cause I'm not gonna talk about what attracted my attention about the half naked man on the cover. My mother raised me better than that, people.)

So Shayna is an incredibly beautiful blond strangely lightly blue eyed 24 year old anthropology grad student who looks 18, which is really annoying to her.  The cover tells you pretty much all you need to know about the strangely powerful vampire hero.

Again, just about any cheesy plot/character set up can still suck me in if it's well written. That is unfortunately not the case here.  I felt like the phrase "stating the obvious" went through my head a lot. And since I am not an English major, and you shouldn't just take my word for good/bad writing, let me give you one plot moment that pretty much brought all my frustration to a head.

Vampires live in caverns underground and conveniently can travel through rock and earth to get there, explaining why they have avoided detection by humans for so many years.  Maurius and Shayna travel to a sealed ice cavern deep under Sweden to find a part of an "extinction weapon" before his evil father can find it, but darn, evil Daniel is already there.  After they defeat Daniel's twenty minions and Daniel runs away, Maurius explains he needs to clean up before they can leave. 'Cause you know, they want to remain unknown to humans.  He pulls out his iphone, calls his friend (who he can also talk to telepathically from any distance) and asks him to send in a clean-up crew. His iphone! Yup, they have a whole group of vampires who volunteer for hazmat duty 'cause even if they're at war, they wanna keep it on the low down.

Oh my aching head.

Fantasy Romance 2014: 1 out of 5 magical new powers I never knew I had.